Alan Smithee

The Saddest Thing I’ve Seen All Day

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I notice...the up down motion doesn't have much length to it, I guess it's made for the typical Japanese.

What you’re looking at right there is the SOM, a piece of personal hardware that the sad men and women across Japan and soon weeaboos across the US can use to help them…what’s a good way of saying…reach climax. That’s right it’s Jack Mehoff machine that can also be aligned to work with the lady parts or certain naughty fellas.

It doesn’t just go with analog or on/off, there are going to be certain computer games that will use the device to further facilitate your disconnect with the real world by role playing the character’s actions in-game. Bottle of Jergens and RedTube still works just fine for me.

Here’s a link to the company’s Japanese site so you can preorder yours too.

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