The Mustache of Hockey: George Parros

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Marvel at the excellence growing on the top of his lips

See that man right there? That’s my favourite hockey player right now. Who is he you ask? Simply put, he’s the Moustache of the NHL. His name is George Parros, and he plays for my Anaheim Ducks. Is he their best player? HELL NO! Is he their best scorer? Trying to make me laugh here ain’t ya? What makes this man so special, and earns my coveted favourite player title? Find out after the dump (See what I did there? I made a hockey pun)

He will F- you up

George Parros was born in Washington, Pennsylvania in 1979. He grew up playing hockey, and eventaully led his highschool team to the state championship and was at the top of his class. Blah blah, boring, I know, but here’s the best part. Instead of going the NHL hopeful route, he decided to go to Princeton. You know, just one of the most prestigious schools in the world. After 4 years at Princeton, and playing for their hockey team. George graduated with a degree in Economics and wrote a thesis on West Coast Fishermen.

The Wrong Way

He was drafted by the LA Kings in 1999 in the 8th, and after graduating, joined thier AHL affliate, the Manchester Monarchs. He had a pretty meh AHL career, with usually leading his team in PIM and pitch in a goal or two. He joined the Kings in the 05-06 season, without his iconic mustache, and had 155 MIN that season.

The Right Way!

Before the 06-07 season, The Kings put Parros on the waivers. As fate would have it, Parros joined my beloved Ducks. This was when I was first introduced to the Mustache himself. The ‘stache has lead the Ducks in fighting majors and PIM the past 2 seasons and looks to this year. Not only is he the Ducks best enforcer, he is a caring man. Every year, when his ‘stache and hair reach a certain length, he cuts it all off for charity. I bet if he could, he’d shrink himself down and go beat up cancer himself.

Parros is a man’s man, a Grinder who earns the respect of his peers through his fists and his facial hair. Remember how I said that he rarely scores? Watching last night’s Ducks/Leafs Game, Parros did something magical for me. Halfway through the middle of the first period, Parros got a pass from Todd Marchant, and got a breakaway. I literally jumped up out of my chair and yelled “GO PARROS! SCORE!” and what does he do for me? NAILS IT! BOTTOM LEFT CORNER WRIST SHOT, SCORING ON THOSE WRETCHED LEAFS! I screamed for joy and nearly cried.

Here’s a video of this breathtaking goal.

Oh and did I say he’s a bit of a fighter? Yea.. He can throw a few. Here’s a kickass video of a bunch of his fights over the years (and with a Metallica soundtrack!)

Overall, This man is my hero. He’s educated, and could be making much more being an economist, but he does what he wants. He beats up people for a living and is having the time of his life. George Parros, I salute you (and your ‘stache).

A True Mans Champion

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