Kyle J. Steenblik

The Gallows is Insufferably Annoying and Frighteningly Dull

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The Gallows

Directed by:  Travis Cluff, Chris Lofing
the gallows advance screeningWritten by: Travis Cluff, Chris Lofing
Starring: Reese Mishler, Cassidy Gifford, Ryan Shoos, Pfeifer Brown, Price T. Morgan, Alexis Schneider
Running time:  81 minutes
Rated R for some disturbing violent content and terror

T1 star out of 5he Gallows is yet another string of found footage horror films that are all essentially attempting to recreate the innovative Blair Witch Project.  The major difference with these modern rip-offs is that they fail to feel organic, and staggeringly fail to establish any compelling characters to drive the half-baked narrative to an inevitable conclusion.  The Gallows may be the most egregious example I have seen in this new generation of frighteningly dull horror films.  What sparks of originality present themselves in this film are drowned out by the mind-numbing screams, jump scares, and rage inducing bad dialogue.  The fact that there is a grain of something in this film that could actually be frightening frustrates me, it is like finding a small pearl in a bucket of festering oysters presented as a light dinner.  Unless you are a vapid teenager that has yet to be exposed to anything resembling a real horror film you are likely to find this film a waste of 81 minutes, unless you mange to nap through all the loud jump scare dramatics.

Twenty years after an accident during a small town high school play results in death, students at the school resurrect the failed stage production in a misguided attempt to honor the anniversary of the tragedy – but ultimately find out that some things are better left alone.  – Courtesy Warner Bros.

In my youth, I spent my fair share of time in theatres, on stage, behind stage, above and below.  I know the superstitions, and the secret rituals of cast and crew.  I can say, without a doubt that this film brought back feelings of dread when those unspoken superstitious rules of the theatre were broken on screen.  The stories of haunted theatres are as old as the craft itself.  This prospect sent shivers down my spine, as someone that once believed these things, or at least half-believed them.  Had I see this film as an 18-year-old actor and stage tech I may have been frightened out of my pants if I could get past the unforgivably dull first act, and the shockingly annoying second act.  This is one film whose very name we should never speak in the vicinity of a legitimate film, for fear of cursing the screen.  The film that must not be named is not worth your time, money, or consideration; I regret it is not even worth the paltry words I wasted upon it.

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