Alan Smithee

Sony Enlists the Department of Homeland Security

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Dear Hackers, learn how to toss salads. Love, Xopher.

I’m not saying that you guys need to garner a healthier lifestyle either…I’m merely saying that if you’ve done the crime of hacking the PSN servers, you should be prepared to eat the ass of another inmate in whichever facility that you’re sentenced to.

Why would I want you to prepare for forced sodomy? Well, it seems that Sony, with their deep pockets and connections, have found it in their hearts to enlist the United States Department of Homeland Security in the efforts to find out exactly who is responsible for the attacks on the STILL down servers.

That’s not all, you’ve also got the FBI tracking you down. It’s just not a good time to be a social anarchist against major corporations with influence in almost every country in the developed world.

The various departments are currently working on solving the whodunnit for this attack…so no one person has been indicted for this possible crime, but all of us know that it’s merely a matter of time until they have some poor scapegoat under their boots.


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