Jill Seale

Manly Drink for Men: The Cromsmopolitan

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This'll put hair on your chest. And your back. And your tongue.

Ladies and ladymen, I give you The Cromsmopolitan, the only shot served in a bucket.


  • A bottle of Absinthe stolen from a French abbey in 1895
  • A mason jar filled with shoddily made, blindness inducing moonshine
  • Bull Semen (for virility)
  • A tequila worm taken from the stomach of Pancho Villa during his autopsy
  • Adrenochrome (made from the adrenal gland of a live human)
  • A shot of grenadine (what? Grenadine is in lots of manly drinks… like… Shut up!)
  • A bottle of Jack Daniels (one of the foulest substances known to man)
  • Stem cells
  • Wedge of lime

The proper procedure for taking a shot of Cromsmopolitan is to take the wedge of lime, squeeze it into your open eye, then pour the shot over the arching back of a nubile slave girl who was formerly an ethiopian princess.

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