itemforty’s Stuff to Avoid: Lady Robitika #1

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Do you know the singing telegram girl from Clue? The one that was shot as quickly as she was introduced? Sure you do! She was cute, she was peppy, and her death was abrupt and hilarious.

Well, you probably didn’t know that she is way more punk than you ever will be. Go ahead and try it.

Have YOU been in bands since 1978? No.
Did anyone refer to you as “Jane Drano?” No.
Were you in Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure? No.
Have you been on the Surreal Life? No.

Well our little telegram, named Jane Wiedlin sure has, and in all honesty she would probably kick your, my, and God’s ass just for asking questions.

That’s why I say, with great fear for my health, that Lady Robitika by Jane Wiedlin and Bill Morrison is just plain terrible.

Lady Robitika is… ok, it’s a Sci Fi comic co-created by artist Bill Morrison. In it, Jane plays Jane, the one time normal, punk rock lady ready to kick some teeth in. What a stretch of the imagination!

Apparently Jane worked on the dialogue too!

Our story begins with Jane right in the depths of a rock tour, trying to deal with terrible dreams, ridiculous looking musical equipment, and managers that look strangely like me. However, before she could even blog about her terrible first-world problems, a dramatic twist: other-worldly events TRANSFORM her into the fabulous Lady Robitika, a super, whip-wielding space goddess in charge of keeping the peace and kicking in teeth!

Or at least, that’s what *I* see happening. In all honesty, the first issue left me hanging, without actually letting me know what she could, should, or will do. There is a hint that she has some plan, but I can’t see myself buying the second one to find out. Instead, I just pretend that the next issue features Jane getting run over by a combine. Or by a better artist.

RE: ART – Sure, I could probably give the art a bone, especially since it could very well be a style thing I don’t entirely recognize or appreciate. Or maybe the art is so preferable because shitty art is easier to produce in a timely manner Regardless, whatever Bill Morrison had in mind didn’t work for me; the characters, perspectives, shading, lines.. all feel flat and hurried, like my mom (booyah).

Oh and the dialogue. JESUS the dialogue. Mindless quips, one-liners, puns and other terrible “this is funny because I’m old and get off my lawn!” phrases and terms that even I can’t enjoy, and I’m from Texas (we have more idioms and puns than a horse flying down a tennis truck on Sunday)! I don’t know who to blame for any of this, but that won’t stop me from shaking my fist in every direction I can (hard).

Did I mention that Bill Morrison worked for Matt Groening?

So, not to waste any more time, in summary: the story is stale, the idea is uninspired, the art is sloppy, and the dialogue makes me cringe and shake. Unless you are a super fan of Jane Wiedlin, avoid this comic and read something better. If you are? Well, then get me some tea and let’s not pretend you should read it either.

Still think Jane is hot though.

Bottom Line: $0.45/$3.50

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