Ryan Thomason

In Theaters This Week: November 11th, 2011

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Or if the movie 11/11/11 would have you believe, the day we all die. Or something similar epic of scale. Like McRibs curing cancer.


Director: Darren Lynn Bousman
Actors: Michael Landes, Timothy Gibbs, Denis Rafter

Plot: On the 11th day of the 11th month in 2011, a being from another world with use the 11th gate of Heaven to enter our world.
Editors Note: Insert witty liner about the number 11
One, One


Director: Tarsem Singh
Actors: Mickey Rourke, Kellan Lutz, Henry Cavill

Plot: Years after the gods defeated the titans and sealed them away, King Hyperion, mad with power, unleashed his disfigured army upon Greece in search of the legendary Epirus Bow – a weapon forged by Ares himself. With this weapon he plans to free the titans. The gods, unable to step in directly, instead put the burden of saving mankind upon a peasant named Theseus, who is charged by Zeus to stop the mad king.

J. Edgar

Director: Clint Eastwood
Actors: Leonardo DiCaprio, Naomi Watts, Josh Lucas

Plot: J. Edgar Hoover was one of the most prominent faces of law enforcement for 50 years in the United States. He held power most men can only dream of and secrets that could have destroyed him.
Editors Note: History Buffs, lets buff the living crap out of this movie, I am excited to see where Eastwood and DiCaprio can take this iconic American.

Jack and Jill

Director: Dennis Dugan
Actors: Al Pacino, Adam Sandler, Katie Holmes

Plot: A family man living in Los Angeles has his hands full when his twin sister visits from The Bronx, then refuses to leave.
Editors Note: Watch Adam Sandler revive his role as one of the Gap Girls
IF that went way over your head, you were probably half unfertilized egg, and half sperm in the early 90’s

London Boulevard

Director: William Monahan
Actors: Colin Farrell, Keira Knightley, David Thewlis

Plot: An ex-con falls for the young actress he’s assigned to protect, which puts him up against one of the most vicious gangs in London.
Editors Note: Will Colin Farrell stink lines get in the way of the movie? Let’s not watch and see. OK, maybe I’m still bitter about him being apart of the giant turd remake of Total Recall.

Martha Marcy May Marlene

Director: Sean Durkin
Actors: Elizabeth Olsen, Sarah Paulson and John Hawkes

Haunted by painful memories and increasing paranoia, a damaged woman struggles to re-assimilate with her family after fleeing an abusive cult.

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