Ryan Thomason

Googles 2012 Valentines Day Doodle Is a Blasphemy

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Rarely do I get fired up, but when Google goes ahead and decides to take a political stance in such a way, I just can’t put up with it. Using their wealth and dominance in the search engine market is one thing when they are combating things like SOPA, but to create a video and have a picture at the end like THIS? I can’t stay quiet when such a large “F-U” has been smacked across my face and everything decent in this world has been torn asunder.

I am of course speaking of the Alien and Human Astronaut “In Love”. Everything else in the tiles I’m OK with, though I’m a little suspect of the Cookie and Milk also. They barely pass under my radar.

Lets look at the horrible image that is being displayed to the world. First off, The human is floating in space with what looks like a spacewalking suit that has a giant Zipper on the front. Not only is this TOTALLY IMPRACTICAL but the Human should be dead because a zipper isn’t enough to seal you from the vacuum of space that would have killed him instantly. Unless the Astronaut is in deep space, he has no visor to shield himself from the sunlight/radiation that would have probably melted his eyes from exposure.

Now the alien is just floating in space without any form of life support, which means that this is some kind of super being that can exist in the vacuum of space and not die. This life form is probably so advanced that it’s race is just trying to smooze in with the dim witted astronaut to launch an invasion of Earth. It obviously is squidlike in nature and only has use of it’s tentacles for movement and grappling. If it’s anything like squids on our planet it probably lays eggs to reproduce. What is the astronaut supposed to do? Ejaculate into a cup and transport it outside for some kind of demonic seeding of alien babies? I doubt human sperm can even stay alive in the confines of space. That means the only way that those two are reproducing is if the alien somehow is a parasite that uses the human as a host and it’s babies will spring forth from the human host or it will impregnate the human male. THIS IS SO WRONG AND OUR CHILDREN ARE LEARNING FROM THIS.

Lastly, how the hell does Google know that there are tentacle squid aliens that don’t live on planets but just swim around in outer space? Is there something that they aren’t telling us? Has Google already made a pact with the alien race and are just slowly prepping us for an invasion? My theory is that all of the humans are going to be rounded up by Loyal Google Employees, where these aliens are going to hump on our bodies then we’ll all be tossed into space and the alien babies are going to pour out of our carcases to further advance this alien master race.

I’m going to start an email campaign to Google and the animator (Michael “Lippy” Lipman) that this should be taken down. Who is with me?

You can visit the heinous Google main website, or just watch the abomination of a video below:

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