Kyle J. Steenblik

Gods of Egypt is Divinely Digitally Disappointing

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Gods-of-Egypt-Fiery-PosterGods of Egypt
Directed by: Alex Proyas
Written by: Matt Sazama, Burk Sharpless
Starring: Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Brenton Thwaites, Chadwick Boseman, Elodie Yung, Courtney Eaton, Rufus Sewell, Gerard Butler, Geoffrey Rush
Running time 127 minutes
Rated PG-13 for fantasy violence and action, and some sexuality

After the gods created the world, they decided to live among the mortals in the crown jewel of their creation, Egypt.  Osiris (Bryan Brown) ruled Egypt, while his brother the ruthless Set (Gerard Butler) ruled the harsh deserts.  On the day Osiris would pass his crown to his son Horus (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau), Set betrayed and murdered his brother Osiris, and stole the all-seeing eyes of Horus, and claimed the crown of Egypt for himself.  Unwittingly caught up in this divine power struggle were the mortals Bek (Brenton Thwaites), and the woman he loves Zaya (Courtney Eaton).  Zaya convinces Bek to steal one of Horus’ eyes from Set’s vaults in the hopes of restoring the exiled and blind Horus’ power; Zaya is killed in the escape.  When Bek finds Horus, he strikes a bargain with the god, he will help Horus recover his other eye and help him defeat Set, if Horus returns Zaya from the afterlife.  Together the mortal and a god begin a journey that brings them face to face with Ra (Geoffrey Rush), and a world-devouring demon, to save the world from destruction and Zaya from the underworld.

Gods of Egypt is ridiculously stupid, overly long, and dull, with a script that should have lined a hamster cage.  Set in a world constructed entirely upon a green-screen and dependant on visual effects that the afterthought of a story is all but lost.  While it may not be the worst film, I have ever seen, by a long shot, it is a complete waste of money and two hours, which felt like it would never end.  Not only is the story and dialogue underdeveloped the massive amounts of talent on the screen are misused to the point of being embarrassing.  I cannot lay the blame for this travesty at the feet of director Alex Proyas, as much as I want to, I believe the god’s share of blame belongs on the heads of writers Matt Sazama and Burk Sharpless, who gave us Dracula Untold, and The Last Witch Hunter.  These two writers I will remember as having significant trouble taking a story from concept, to fruition.  I do not wish these two would never pen another screenplay, as much as I would like to, but I do hope they learn from past mistakes, and stop turning in scripts that read like first, underdeveloped, drafts.  This does not mean Proyas is off the hook, because a director should recognize when a script is so fatally flawed that no amount of talent in the cast, or the director’s chair can save it.

If you happen to been a moviegoer that values visual spectacle more than good story, and acceptably decent dialogue, you may enjoy this film.  Some I believe might love it, they would be wrong, but love it they may.  The rest of the movie going audience I would urge you to carefully consider what your time and money are worth when there are so many more choices available.

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