James Helsby

George Lucas ruined Star Wars Blu-Rays

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Oh, let’s just say that I am a little livid. Apparently the news is traveling the web-a-verse faster than Han Solo making the Kessel Run. Lucas has worked his ‘vision’ on the yet-to-be-released BluRays of Star Wars, by changing a few key elements.

At this point, only a few are known about. And two of those are attached below in Youtube format.


First, Lucas has ‘decided’ that his original vision, included Obi-Wan sounding less like a Krayt Dragon, and more like some sort of bizare child molestor, while trying to frighten off the Sand People, in Episode IV.   While, I, myself, am deathly afraid of child molesters, the notion of a Jedi child molester, is truly frightening. I whole heartily understand why Lucas would want to make Obi-Wan sound less/more frightening than he did (this is a bogus lie, and just thought it would be humorous. This sounds like shit in a can.)


Second, Lucas, in his god-like vision, realized that the most important moment of Episode III (Revenge of the Shit) was when Anakin stood up after having been converted over to Darth Vader. Upon learning that he is responsible for Padame’s death, he proceeds to screem…. NOOOOOOO!.

Lucas, knowing that this was the most important, and so seldom (not) ridiculed moment of the entire prequel series, inserted this same sort of emotional outburst in perhaps the greatest moment of the ENTIRE FUCKING SERIES. When Darth Vader returns to being Anakin, and takes a stand against the Emperor. Now, instead of quiet realization, Vader screams ‘NOOOO’ like a pansy.



The third, is too egregiousness to even show. (well, that and I couldn’t find a clip.) Ewoks, not have eye-lids, and blink. Seriously. WTF. Is it too late to cancel my pre-order? When will Lucas finally take a hint, and leave ‘good enough’ alone. Or at least, leave ‘messed the fuck up’ alone?



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