Ryan Thomason

Geek Dad Report: The First Set of Graduations Ceremonies

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We had a busy week of my oldest Graduating from 4 year old Preschool and a tumbling year-end performance from a tumbling class all within 2 days. Of course nothing went as planned, and that only solidified the memories.

Let’s start with the least stressful and dramatic of the two events. Tumbling. Obviously since he’s a boy, he was the only one in his class. He loved learning to do handstands, cartwheels, kick jumps and anything that involved running at the springboard to launch himself into the foam mat. I was tempted to do the springboard into the foam mat myself to be honest. Being the only boy in your tumbling class performance apparently ensures that you’re center in the loose formation of kids not doing anything in sync and doing things in the “oh you’re so cute even though you can’t do it right” way. My son was a glorious mixture of part knowing when to do something and standing in the back with his hands on his head, sweatbands on his wrists trying to figure out what the hell is going on.

Its a proud moment watching your kid at these kind of year end events, a culmination of all the taking them to practice, watching them misbehave, long talks about misbehaving, giving them “that look” when they realize you’re watching them misbehave so they have that “oh crap” look on their face in return. I’ll be honest, that deer in headlights knowing they got caught look, its damn adorable, and I love it when it happens. Does that make me a bad parent? Oh well. Where was I again? Oh yeah, you just want all the damn money you plopped down for months on end to have some kind of value. For all the hand wringing and murmurs I heard from parents around me, everyone seemed as terrified as I was that their kid was going to be the one standing there picking their nose and scratching their privates. Thankfully, in America, our children apparently like attention that comes with flashing camera lights and video recorders, because aside from the kids being confused it’s all frigging adorable. Especially when your kid gets to be in the middle of things. That one kid that was actually standing around picking his nose and scratching his privates must have been a communist.

Of course, the event that was the most important to us was his 4 year old preschool graduation. He’d been singing the songs they were practicing for the event for months, he didn’t just memorize his 2 lines in a poem but the whole damn poem itself. I was taking time off of work, as was his grandpa and his Aunt. So, naturally when my wife called to confirm the time the receptionist told us the wrong one and we missed getting him to the graduation by an hour, getting in “early” enough that we saw the last 5 minutes of his classmates wrapping things up. Nobody got to see anything, at all. So, after nearly everyone’s heart was crushed in our family the school somewhat made up for it by letting him graduated with his old class the next day. Thank Crom he started this year in 3 year old preschool, was too advanced by halfway through and moved up. So, in essence he was just graduating with the class he started the year with, not ended, and they were doing the same everything as the older class. I thanked Crom many times. We watched him play ‘Skip to my Lou’ on the piano, sign/sign language all the songs he’d been practicing. And when it came time for him to do his 2 lines of the poem on the microphone in front of everyone, he just said the whole thing through, high-fived his teacher and sat down. Like a boss.

Now, I can’t wait for my daughter to start doing stuff, so I can get to see at least two of these a year, until they graduate from College with a Doctorate in some fancy pants field.

Hey, a Dad can dream.

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