Ryan Thomason

Eric and Goosh: The Oatmeal Vs FunnyJunk

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More Adventures of Eric and Goosh for you! Or as I like to call it, my horrible attempt at writing comedy in the short form.

Eric and Goosh sat across from each other at their dining room table, which was actually a beat up white fold up table that was also the Beer Pong or sit down and get drunk here table. They were eating a carefully prepared dinner of giant bowls of Trix cereal.

Goosh waved his plastic spoon in Eric’s direction while he was chewing his latest bite. “You hear about this FunnyJunk suing The Oatmeal?”

Eric rolled his eyes, brushing his hand through his light brown hair. “What they’re doing is a friggin travesty of the highest proportions and thievery at unquestionable levels!” He replied, pounding his fist on the table for extra emphasis, which slightly rocked the worn joins that held it together.

“Yeah, I hope FunnyJunk Wins.” Goosh added between bites, he then stared out the window, watching a bird peck at something on top of their fence.

Eric dropped his spoon and just stared at his friend, waiting for the obvious punch line.

Goosh laughed when the bird pooped.

“You’re serious?” Eric asked, incredulous that his friend took such a side on the matter.

“Wait, FunnyJunk is a website about pictures of people with misshapen penis’s right?” Goosh replied, seriousness in his voice.

Eric grinned, picked up his spoon and moved it toward his bowl to eat. “Yes. FunnyJunk is just one big giant misshapen penis website.” He looked at Goosh to see his reaction.

Goosh looked down at his bowl, deep in thought. “Yeah. I’m going with The Oatmeal then.”

They ate the rest of the meal in silence, except for when Goosh kept laughing about the bird poop.

Artwork by Paul Mason

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