Car Talk: Mercedes Benz CLS63 AMG

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Watch, Play, Read is about immersing yourself into something you love. Whether that is books, games, computers, comics or cars. Yes, cars we all have one but some of us don’t just see them as transportation. Just like some of us don’t see comics as that paper you got with rock hard bubble gum. Me, I’m a die-hard. I look for the newest reviews of car shows like techys watch CES or comic lovers visit Comicon. I’m all about the newest, baddest car or truck to weep, drool and desire for. So, here is my once in a life time dream opportunity in writing. Enjoy!

They drop the keys into my hand and inform me that I have to have the car back at the dealership before the doors close. That gives me roughly 4 hours to find out what the newest, fastest, sleekest, and sexiest car on the market is capable of. No, it’s not the new Ferrari 458 , nope not the newest Lamborghini, it’s not even the twin turbocharged Porsche GT2 RS. It’s the 2012 Mercedes Benz CLS63 AMG. For those of you that can’t name gear ratios or quote horsepower off the top of your head, this car might not jump to the front of your mind. But take my word for it, it is drop dead, curl your toes the sexiest car on the market. Before giving you driving impressions let me give you a little background first. The generation one model ended its production run in 2011. Its swan song being the CLS 63 AMG, it consisted of a 6.2 liter naturally aspirated V8 producing 507 horsepower. This would take the car from 0-60 in 4.4 seconds. All this from a car with leather, satellite navigation, and seating for four.

The CLS is ground breaking, it single handily created a new genre of car over night. The “four door coupe” as the class came to be known has been completely dominated by the MB CLS sense 2004, but there are new competitors to this world. Thus, the need for a generation two. With the changing of the new year also came massive changes for the newest Benz. The car is new inside and out, that includes a new engine as well. This being a 5.5 liter twin turbocharged V8 making 518 horsepower. But enough with the stats, what is it like. Well before I drive off I stand back and just stare. It gorgeous, there isn’t a single angle that looks bad. I take my hand and run it over the low slung roof line and feel as it runs into the newly creased rear end. Again I step back and take the car in. This car is like Heidi Klum but with wheels. It has hips, a tiny waist and a hell of a front end. This is the exact model I would purchase if I could ever pay the premium of a $100,000 before options. I finally get the nerve to open the door, sit down and slowly look around. The special AMG dials look like a finely hand crafted Swiss watch. The leather is baby butt smooth and the smell of high end craftsmanship fills my nose. As I start the car the engine burbles, it’s a sick, sadistic sound like the bastard child of NASCAR-Ferrari off spring. I give the throttle a prod and the entire car shakes. I place the new seven speed multi-clutch transmission into drive and slowly pull away.

As I snake out of town and into the mountain roads surrounding the city I finally find a long enough and straight enough road to really test the new engine. There is no hesitation, the car simply goes. In what seems like a blindingly fast time I am tripling the speed limit. Before the next corner I slam on the brakes to keep from killing myself and destroying what I feel is rolling art. It’s wonderful, incredible, amazing, and fantastic. There aren’t enough words in the English dictionary to describe a car like this. For the next few hours I spend driving the car everywhere. And standing here before you I can honestly say there isn’t an environment that this car can’t dominate anything else on the road. Yes, maybe a track would find this 2-ton car out of its element, but let’s be honest what owner of a $100,000 Benz is going to take this to a track?
Unfortunately, my few hours are up and I must return my super model friend back to her house. I pull up, turn the car off, and step back once again. She really is gorgeous, and I’m in love.

But, and this is a big one, I’ve never driven this car, never seen it, touched it or even sat in it. The best part being the 2012 Mercedes Benz CLS 63 AMG doesn’t even debut for another 6 months. But hey you book nerds, high tech geeks, and comic freaks didn’t think you were the only ones with imaginations did you?

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