Ryan Thomason

Adventures of Eric and Goosh: FancyPants, Part 1

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Sometimes, Downton Abbey just takes over your thought process, Goosh just doesn’t have any thought process.

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Goosh stepped into the kitchen, his foot landing on a small black tile that creaked under the pressure of his weight. Eric closed the door of the refrigerator, as he glanced in the direction of the offending noise and nearly dropped the can of Coke he had just retrieved.

Goosh was wearing nothing but a Monocle and Top Hat.

“Seriously?” Was all that Eric could say.

Goosh balled his fists and thrust them defiantly onto his hips, “I’m Fancy!”

Eric sighed, pressing the bridge of his nose with his thumb and finger.


“You’ve been watching Downton Abbey again, haven’t you?”

“I’m the Earl of this house now Eric, the Earl of…” Goosh scratched his head as he contemplated his next thought.

“Bakersfield street?” Eric added.

“Earl of Bakersfield Abbey…ton…down.” Goosh smiled.

Eric gestured at his friend, “Shouldn’t the good Earl not be butt naked except for a Top hat and monocle?”

Goosh grinned.

“I’m not your frigging footman, or valet, whatever.” Eric, having enough of this conversation started walking out of the kitchen.

“But.” Goosh stammered out

“I’m already Mrs. Pratmore or whatever, I do all the cooking.” Eric reminded his friend.

Goosh, standing in the kitchen, hands still balled at his hips frowned. He needed a valet, if he was the earl of Bakersfield Abbey-ton-down. He had to get dressed. He straightened his Top hat, and squinted his left eye a bit to keep the monocle fitting tight, then marched to the telephone and pressed “0”.

“Operator, I need your finest Valet or Footman services, or, whatever it is that Mr. Carson is.”

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