Added on April 26, 2011  Ryan Thomason  ants , down , guess , guts , jack tretton

WPR Discusses: Why Sony is REALLY Having Server Problems

After taking a couple of swings at Sony, I thought you guys might like some of our ideas for why this whole PSN debacle has made the online portion of the PS3 a brick for the last week.

James Helsby

Skynet came online a few day’s late, and immediately started utilizing the the closest available network connection. Which happened to be a PS3.

Evan Burkey

Mainly, it was caused by great green globs of greasy grimy gopher guts.

Ryan Thomason

My Thoughts?

From a inside source, I know the real deal. An ant colony invaded the server farm, took root, mutated and Sony found themselves only able to fight off the now giant mutant ants that breath fire with their shitty remotes.

500 Sony Employees are dead, and the ants are planning their next attack.

Jeff Seale

If you’ll all open to chapter 11, verse 24 in the Book of No Games, you’ll see that this was foretold:

“And lo, Jack Tretton did go into the land, carrying the information from a thousand score credit cards, and it was then that he came upon the province of Galilee, where he did proceed to purchase a palacial home with fifteen and three hot tubs and an inside rollercoaster. And Jack did grin and saw that it was good.”

Jason Rogers

Microsoft did it to convince people that paying for your online services actually makes a difference.

Or reptilians are behind it.

Xopher Reed

Neo and Morpheus are responsible…or there was a glitch in the Matrix…the DOT Matrix.