It’s no secret that I’m a World of Warcraft junkie. I don’t play as much as I used to, but Blizzard has been getting my 15 bucks a month for a very long time. I would like to think I know this game inside and out, and so you can imagine my surprise when I read a report put out by The Timothy Plan, a conservative christian investment firm, that lists WoW as the 20th most offensive game on the market.
The report (links to a pdf file) lists the most 30 offensive games from top to bottom. The games are scored based on what kind of offensive content they contain, and more points means it goes higher on the list. The content deemed offensive includes sex, nudity, drugs, gambling, violence, demonic content, and game addiction. I wasn’t surprised by Grand Theft Auto 4 being number 1, closely followed by Saint’s Row. As I went through the list, I could pretty much guess which games were going to be at the top. Bioshock, Devil May Cry, Bully… these were pretty obvious. But then I saw World of Warcraft, and I couldn’t help but be surprised. After the break I’ll tell you why.
Offensive Content Numero Uno: Sex
“Some suggestively dressed female characters and sexual allusions”
Ok, I’ll give you that one.
Offensive Content Number 2: Violence
“A reasonable amount of fighting interspersed between various missions. Many attacks can cause enemies to bleed.”
I don’t think The Timothy Plan went far enough on this one. I’ve pretty much committed genocide on boars. I just hate the little turds. They’re so ugly and disgusting, and they keep coming back. Every time I run through the world of Azeroth, dousing myself in the blood of a million boars, they all respawn and taunt me. You all wait and see, one day I shall have my revenge against the boars.
On second thought, The Timothy Plan might have a point there too.
Offensive Content Number 3: Language
“You may find a very occasional ‘d*mn.’”
The only offensive language I’ve ever heard is when I’m screaming at the PUG (mmo slang for “pickup group”) I’m in because some stupid 12 year old is trying to DPS with his Holy Priest. I swear this game is going to give me a heart attack.
Offensive Content Number 4: Alcohol
“Players have the opinion of purchasing and consuming alcohol, even the ability to get drunk.”
True, you can buy alcohol in the game. Getting drunk is also pretty simple, just quaff a few brewskies and you’re screen is swaying. In fact, I recommend getting wasted in real life and then getting wasted in the game. Not only will you be swaying at your keyboard, but your screen will be swaying as well. Just be sure not to send idiotic messages to your guild leader telling him how he’s a terrible WoW player and needs to learn the correct way to tank. That doesn’t end well… any guilds looking for a Warlock?
Offensive Content Number 5: Game Addiction
“Due to the nature of the game and its length, it is extremely addictive. Time limits need to be set when playing the game.”
First of all, how is the addictive quality of a game offensive? Sure, the appearance and smell of a WoW addict can be offensive to the respective eyes and nose, but I don’t see how the game itself is offensive due to it allegedly being addicting.
More importantly, I can’t agree to this gross misstatement that WoW is addicting. It’s not like I was doing well in college until I bought WoW on launch day and then played religiously for the next 2 years and failed out of college then went back to my mom and dad’s house and played 12+ hours a day for another 6 months before finally realizing how horribly addicting WoW is only to take a year off then start playing again, albeit only a few hours a week.
No. It’s not at all like that. Nowhere close.
Perhaps Timothy Plan has a point. I really need to stop playing this freaking game.