Ryan Thomason

Why We Will be Watching ‘V’ *Spoilers*

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My TV schedule was once a long list of shows that I HAD to watch every week. Since this fall, I think I have deleted about half of the timers off of my DVR. Most were shows that I had to watch every week, but this year, I just feel different. I don’t care anymore. I have my 5 or so shows now that are “mine” on the DVR. V is one of them.

As I was discussing with Xopher (Fellow contributor to this article), I only love this show because it gives me something to really be an ass to nitpick and vent about. Yes, so far, it is SLIGHTLY better than last year, but really when you were a shit storm now turning into what, a diarrhea storm I don’t know if that is still what you wanted. So V is back. What the fuck is going on now, and will this be enough to let the show last the whole 10 episode ‘last chance’ effort of a season?

  • The Sky is Red, and people are starting to think “Hey, Maybe they are bad Aliens.”
  • Lisa (Queen Annas daughter) is smoking hot. Especially when she gets down to her undies
  • Anna is a voyuer and watched her daughter have sex apparently, then told her she did a good job. (Not what my parenting approach will be for sure)
  • CGI of Visitor/Human hybrid looked stupid, probably better than anything they did last year though
  • Red Sky turns into Red RAIN and then Anna tells everyone that it’s HEALING THE HEARTH, OCEANS AND CURING GLOBAL WARMING. Everyone who was RIOTING then gets happy. Where the fuck are the sceptical humans that I meet day in and out in real life?
  • Apparently Visitor ‘Trackers’ REALLY SUCK AT THEIR JOB, cause it was spotted in 5 seconds and then forced to eat a pill that made it evaporate
  • LOL OLD VISITOR SKELETONS. Secret Skeletons. Cause you know, if a 20 somtehing starving college undergrad doing research had found it, he wouldn’t have plastered it all over the Internet and tried to get famous.
  • Chad (News guy whatever his name is) want to be in the 5th Column, but is apparently a moron and knows nothing of tact.
  • Lisa is hot. Did I already say that? I did?
  • The old queen. Yeah, she looks like shit, and not due to any ‘TV MAGIC’

    That is all I can give you, because if I dive into anything indept, I think my brain might explode. Next week, after some processing, I’ll give you some more. For now though, let our wise leader impart some better words upon you than I could.

    Xopher Reed

    I must be a glutton for punishment or maybe I’m really into the BDSM scene, because for whatever reason, I keep coming back to television shows that ultimately let me down. This is the case with V, after the events of the first half of the season, I honestly swore this show off and did so publicly on our podcast RLR.

    I didn’t know what to expect with the returning episodes of this show, but I can say this. They’re trying their hardest to make sure people come back next week to see what happens next.

    This episode was pretty damned stupid, I have to get that out of the way. Oh and there will be shitloads of spoilers in this review so stop reading this sentence if you don’t want to know what happened.

    Ok with that out of the way we can get into the red-meat of this show. When we last saw our buddies in the 5th Column (all 4 of them, what a large resistance movement you have!) Ryan was aboard the V mothership in Manhattan, and the others were just derping their way through life when Anna decided to unleash the ‘red sky’.

    We’ve come to find out that this red sky was nothing more than the Visitors’ trying to turn us humans into their next livestock to feed their population which also helps them reproduce. I guess you could say that with the red sky letting loose a ‘red rain’, we became the equivalent to Visitor Spanish Fly/Prenatal Vitamins.

    The thing that really bugs me about this premise is that the visitors need phosphorous to reproduce, and that’s something we have in severe abundance on this planet…not to mention all of the work that was used to seed the Earth with red rain (aka, the V special phosphorous cocktail), they could have used it for just their population. However this is merely me looking far too deep into something that should really be left at the surface level.

    Along with our explanation as to what the red sky/rain was, we were treated to some of the best bottom-shelf CG that I’ve ever seen on television. It’s almost terribad, but not quite there. I have a few examples I’d like to share with you:

    • The FBI lady’s son’s face melting
    • Ryan’s little Visitor/Human hybrid
    • Anna attacking one of her ship captains with a prehensile tail
    • Of course a Visitor flash deletion

    That’s just a few of course, but it should help you see how hard they’re trying to make people watch this show.

    We were also given a new member of the 5th Column, yup…a scientist, and he’s young too! I don’t even want to get started down this line of bitching, but I did notice that not matter what happened this episode, everyone’s hair was completely perfect in every scene of the show.

    There really is some stuff in this show that is making it perfectly watchable for me, and I hate to admit it, but Anna and her daughter Lisa are two of the best looking people on TV right now (except for Al Bundy’s wife on Modern Family). They make watching this show easy, especially when Lisa strips down to her skivvies. Aside from me being horny, the practical effects were pretty good too. The V skeleton in the scientist’s lab is pretty impressive, and so was the part where Anna showed the face of one of the V’s captains to everyone.

    While nowhere near necessary television, this show has managed to outlast 3 other science fictions shows that have gotten the axe recently, and if they can keep up the cheese factor and special effects that they did this episode, I’m sure the next 9 episodes will just fly right by.

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