Jill Seale

Time Well Wasted: Choice Of The Dragon

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Less DAWNJON. More DARGON.

I love wasting time. Nothing feels more free to me than knowing there are things I need to get done and completely blowing them off. In the spirit of slackers everywhere, I present Time Well Wasted, a weekly feature where I showcase some of the best, most interesting, or just plain strangest ways to kill an hour or two on the internet.

This week, I bring you Choice of the Dragon, a multiple choice text adventure by Choice of Games.

I know you. You’re sitting there at your computer, and you’re wishing you were a dragon (no, not like that!). It’s nothing to be ashamed of. Who wouldn’t want to troll the hell out of nearby kingdoms all day, then go to sleep on a huge pile of money?

That’s exactly what you can do in Choice of the Dragon. It’s an incredibly well written choose-your-own-adventure story that does a really good job of making you feel like a huge, badass dragon. You’re presented with a variety of typical dragon-y problems, like what to do with the group of goblins that inhabit the cave you’ve claimed for your home, or how to kill the pesky group of adventurers who just HAD to try and take some of your awesome treasure.  How you deal with these problems gains you points in you stats.

This little guy's disdain meter? Astronomical.

The stats make up the common charactaristics of all dragons, and affect how well you can pull off certain choices. Do you go for a totally brutal dragon who just steamrolls through any problem he faces, or do you focus more on finesse? Does your dragon rely on cunning to double cross his way to the top, or does he have a rigid code of honor that he adheres to? Is your dragon vigilant or disdainful?

That’s right. This game has a fucking disdain meter. Seriously. It actually keeps track of how much you don’t give a shit about puny humans and their laughable ways. Racking up those disdain points gave me way more joy than a 20-minute long multiple choice adventure game has any right to, and for that I raise my leathery wing to it in a salute.

Give it a shot and let me know how your dragon turns out. Just don’t expect me to have anything but scorn for your miserable, pathetic comments. Sorry. I get carried away.

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