Alan Smithee

The Walking Dead – “Vatos”

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C'mere gimme a kiss!

This Sunday’s episode of The Walking Dead on AMC finally answered a few questions for me when it comes to the fate of certain characters, but not nearly enough. I do happen to think that this wasn’t the show’s best episode…but like a wise man said about pizza or sex, even bad, it’s still better than nothing.

I can’t really complain at all about this show, it’s brilliant in its execution as a drama, and it has JUST enough zombie violence and gore in it to keep guys like me happy…but sometimes I think that the show suffers from it’s own hubris. Yes, we get it, you’re all trying to survive the apocalypse…but why the hell can’t you people actually TALK to one another?

Obligatory Lowrider!From the moment this episode began I knew we were in for a real treat. We had the two blond sisters (I forget their forgettable names) having a long and drawn out discussion about how their father raised them with different fishing techniques, all I could think in my mind is that something bad was going to come of this. Hooo boy, was I right!

By the way, from this moment on, no bitching about spoilers mmmmm kay?

Thankfully we didn’t have to endure too much survivor camp bullshit and were quickly taken to downtown Atlanta, to the same cleared out block or two, where our band of heroes is still flabbergasted about Merle’s apparent escape from his handcuff prison by means of hacksaw.

What’s amazing is that Merle is apparently the Terminator when it comes to this universe, because he not only chopped his own hand off and made his way through the building, but he managed to dispatch two walkers, cauterize his stump on a sterno burner, and escape downtown ATL. That’s not it, he actually manages to carjack the other 3 members of the rescue party and I’m not 100% uncertain that he didn’t load the delivery van with the zombies that attacked the camp near the end.

Merle is fucking gangster it seems.

who's the stereotype?Speaking of gangsters, the whole subplot of this episode with the ‘Vatos’ was one of those “shame on you for thinking they’re one thing while they’re another thing entirely” type of plot devices. I wouldn’t have minded so much if the gangsters weren’t such stereotypes. Just about every character we’ve met has broken their stereotypes (except most the rednecks), and I don’t see why we had to have the parade of long belt wearing, khaki slack wearing, pencil mustached, “MENG” pronouncing guys that we had. It was just kind of derp, in my opinion.

We find out that our ‘Vatos’ are actually kind people who are caring for the abandoned elderly in the city and are in need of the bag of guns to help keep everyone alive. Awww, isn’t that nice. Completely tacked on for the warm fuzzy feeling it gave people…I really could have done without it.

Back to Merle stealing the van and my thoughts on him taking zombie cargo. Did the guys really find a need to run all the way from the city to the survivor camp? Haven’t they proven that there are many many many cars that one could procure to get out of the city?!? But no, they actually jogged back to camp and only to show up at the exact moment after 4 or more of the campers got gnawed upon, including everyone’s favorite wife beater Ed (with his FUCKED UP looking face) and little blond lady fisherman (again sorry, don’t recall her name).

damnit son, you will sit there until you enjoy this!

Perhaps you’re thinking I should just chill out with all of the overthinking of this show and just sit and enjoy it. Well I’ve got news for you bub, I did. I really like this show! I find myself watching this on the TV live on most Sundays, which is a feat because I DVR EVERYTHING. I just found myself facepalming about too much stuff that could have been written better this week, much like little blond standing at the RV door for too long as a zombie takes a bite. Seriously, why not just cut your own arm off and hand it to him! Just think, do you want your last words to be “We’re out of TP”?

All in all, I still think this is one of the best shows on TV right now, and is a million times better than what we got on Lost and V this year. I just wish it were MORE better.

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