Ryan Thomason

The Adventures of Eric and Goosh: Which dice do I roll again?

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The second comic in the new WPR Written Word Webcomic series, The Adventures of Eric and Goosh, I hope you enjoy and let us know what you think!

Goosh flexes in his suit of polished metallic armor. “Arrrrrrgggg I look so badass is this armor! Where is my sword of awesome?”

Eric frowned under his black pointed wizard’s hat, his bleached white beard was long and flowing. “It is the Dar’kathon Ancestral sword handed down to the greatest of warriors, numb nuts.”

“Oh, here it is, I was chopping down trees with it, this thing rocks! I throw it at a tree, and KIRPLOW they fall down, it was awesome.” Goosh said as he pulled the sword out from behind a bush, it was covered in dirt and mud.

Eric’s face boiled with anger. “You felled trees in the Guardians Forest? Are you a fool?”

Goosh was trying to balance the sword on one of his palms.

“Answered my own question.” Eric muttered.

Just then, the forest started to rumble, the tree’s parted and a large twenty foot tall rock golem creature walked into the clearing. “Who cuts down my brothers and sisters?” Its booming voice echoed through their ears.

“Don’t fear Mighty Sir Goosh! I’ll vanquish this foe!” Eric shouted, as he twirled in a tight dance, and made elaborate hand gestures while shuffling forward on his tip-toes. He was speaking a strange language, his eyes started to light with a blue fire.

Goosh and the rock Golem looked at each other and Goosh shrugged his shoulders.

“Ga’thu’caliba!” Eric finally let out, ending his long charade, the forest remained silent as nothing happened. With a deep sigh, Eric took out a twenty sided dice, and tossed it onto the ground.

“Great, a fucking one.”

The Rock Golem shook the earth with a booming laugh, and then closed both its fists and raised them into the air, ready to crush Eric. Though, before doing so, he dropped a 20 sided dice of his own, and looked down at it as it rested on the ground.

“Ha! 14, what is your Armor Class?”

“13….” Eric sighed, but then the golem flicked him, only knocking him back a couple of steps.

“5 damage!” The Rock Golem shouted.

Goosh sighed, and poked the Rock Golem tenderly with his sword, throwing his die on the ground. “20! SUCK IT! CRIT ON YOUR ASS!”

The Rock Golem exploded in a spray of pebbles and dust. Showering Eric in a spray of dust as Eric just shook his head and kept mouthing ‘No’ silently.

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