Ryan Thomason

The Adventures of Eric and Goosh: Occupy Wall Street

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It’s Tuesday, and that means more Eric and Goosh! In my attempt to be more “updated” with these comics, I’m going to attempt in October to keep the comics on topics that are happening now. Let me know what you think! I write these for you. No, not you, YOU, yes, screw that other guy.

Eric had sat down on the sidewalk, playing bongos. His clothing was particularly, well, horrible looking. Plaid shirt, buttoned up half way exposing a lush chest of perhaps one or two black curled hairs. The shirt was faded, and looked worn out. His jeans were in much of the same condition, at least his flip flops were reasonably in good shape. There were others with him, playing various instruments, they looked like a homeless band of gypsies, except that they sat on Wall Street in New York City. Chanting about corruption and manipulation of the financial system by large banks and corporations.

Goosh walks by in an expensive suit, the kind of suit that said he had “F-You Money” to throw around. The stench ridden crowd booed at his presence, which Goosh would have ignored until he noticed Eric.

Goosh pulled his cell phone from his ear, “Eric is that you? Are you pretending to be a hobo now or something?” This only served to incite the crowd more.

As Eric tries to shy away, Goosh points his direction and a path unfolded as if Moses was parting the Red Sea. Exposing Eric in mid bongo drumming.

“You pile of shit…literally, Eric, when was the last time you bathed?”

“When the hell did you make so much money, HERE of all places?….” Eric looks around, “Corporate Pig.”

“Dude, it’s me, I’m the supreme bullshitter, You know what I do for a living? I talk to some dumbass, take his money and put it in an empty pool. Then I tell him they lost their money, my posses and some top clients swim in the pool of money while I soak my feet in it. Then we all take our cut and move onto the next thing.”

“You’re leaching the system dry you’re part of the PROBLEM.”

“I’m part of the money train and you can’t get on at any station. Choo Choo!” Goosh pumped his fist in the air.

This only served to anger the crowd more, the path that had parted to Eric collapses and Goosh loses sight of Eric as a mass of people start marching toward his position.

In the process, Eric gets trampled, his bongo broken, and he dies from his wounds because he didn’t have health care.

Goosh had a good life, until he died diving in a pool filled with coins.

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