Ryan Thomason

The Adventures of Eric and Goosh: Comic Con

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It’s Thursday, and it’s Eric and Goosh time

Eric and Goosh funneled through large open doors, pressed at their shoulders by others going into the same direction. Their eyes are wide as they take in the booths, the free swag, and the hot chicks dressed up in costumes. Goosh pops the collar on his soft blue polo shirt and wipes his sweaty palms on his a little too tight acid washed jeans.

Eric speaks first, in a low grovel voice that he was clearly straining on purpose, just a horribly play of Christian Bale’s Batman voice. “I can’t believe we are here.”

Goosh looks at Eric and shakes his head, then tilts it backwards with a cocky smile on his face. “Comic COOOOOOOOOON!!” he shouts as he raises his fist in the air.

Eric stared at him, and continued his strained voice. “You’re making us look dumb.”

Laughing, Goosh pointed at Eric’s mask. “You look like a fucking douche and it looks like a six year old made your Batman costume. You don’t even have puffy muscles at all! It looks like pajamas on rails.”

Goosh lifted up Eric’ arm and let it drop to emphasize his point.

“And, your mask is like plastic, cheap Halloween masking plastic!”

“My Grandma misunderstood what I was going for, she’s a master seamstress.” Eric replied, dropping his horrible Batman impersonation.

“Your Grandma is a master at sucking COCK.” Goosh hesitates to continue briefly as he seems distracted.

“Uh, and stuff.” He smacks Eric hard on the chest, but leaves his palm on it, gripping the Batman symbol sewed into Eric’s costume .

“Babes dressed as Leia, let’s go, Bizzaro Batman.”

Eric pushed Goosh’s hand off his chest.

“We see that shit on the internet all the time, I’m here to get Comics signed.” Eric points a thumb over his shoulder at his satchel slung across his back, bulging with comic books and posters.

As Eric turned away from the many booths to talk to Goosh, he was instead staring at a pimply faced teenager taking pictures of him with an iPhone. Cackling, the kid turned away towards his friends, making a masturbatory gesture.

Eric set out toward the one destination Goosh would have gone too, and that was the nearest girls in Cosplay costumes. It didn’t take long, nor was it hard to find Goosh, who was posing in the middle of two girls dressed up as some kind of cats or weird shit like that.

“MEOW RAWR!” Goosh smiled as he hugged both of their hips, drawing them closer. They giggled at his antics.

“Hardly classy at all, Goosh.” Eric said as he pulled his mask up off his face and let it rest on the top of his head.

Goosh laughed. “Speak for yourself Bizzaro Batman. Not doing the got poked in the butt voice anymore?”

“It was an effect, and if you weren’t such as ass, it wouldn’t be that bad.” Eric hissed through his teeth.

Goosh kissed the two girls on their cheeks. “See these costumes? They look hot on them because their fucking GRANDMA didn’t make them. Isn’t that right ladies?”

“Yeah, we um, like, just bought them off some website.” Said Catgirl #1

Catgirl #2 added. “Like, naughty cat costume dot com.” She giggled.

“Now who’s classy, asshat.” Goosh affirmed.

“You ruin everything.” Eric mumbled as a small crowd of people were taking pictures of his horrible costume with their iPhones and uploading it onto every social networking website they could think of.

Goosh walked toward Eric, leaving the girls to take pictures with others waiting. “By the way, now everyone has pictures of your face, and are putting it on the internet, and now I look like a fucktard friend of yours.” Goosh sack-taps Eric, who immediately falls to the ground in the fetal position cringing in pain as his testicles throbbed.

“The real Batman wears a cup, numb nuts.” Goosh laughed. “Anybody get that on video? YouTube that shit! I’m gonna be FAMOUS!” Goosh posed on the fetally positioned Eric.

Eric reached up and punched Goosh in the balls, who fell to the ground next to him on his knees, mouth slightly open. Eric pulls the mask back down over his face as he still is curled up on the ground.

Continuing his bad voice impersonation. “Paybacks a bitch, want to get some shit signed after we can produce children again?”

“Sounds good.” Was all Goosh could say between his gritted teeth.

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