Alan Smithee

Terrible Beer is an Awesome Oxymoron

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This last weekend I decided while at the state-run liquor store (the only places in this kooky state where you can get anything stronger than 3.2%) to pick up a new type of beer each week until I have developed more of a pallate for the world’s most awesome frothy drink. You see, for the most part I tend to stick to beers that are high on hops or are stouts. I, for the life of me, can’t understand how people enjoy drinking Blue Moon all the time.

This week’s brew comes all the way from Canananadada and is made by a brewer called Unibroue located in Quebec and has the unfortunate yet awesome name “Le Terrible” or as it appeared on the bottle I had, it was just listed as “Terrible”.

The bottle is an unassuming and not too flashy with a simple cork + cage holding in the wonderful liquor contained within. After opening the bottle with a resounding POP that you don’t normally get with beer bottles, I was magically transported to the Fizzy Lifting Drink from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, you know the room where Charlie and his grandpa almost got 86’d. I have a sneaking suspicion that this is what would have been in that bottle.

I grabbed my pilsner glass and tipped the bottle ever so slightly to allow the near 11% alcohol, black as molasses, red-hued beer to come out and show me what it’s made of. The glass started to fill with a brew that wasn’t unpleasantly pungent or fragrant, yet almost a perfect polyphony of aromas. The fruit smell twinged, mixed with the alcohol, and reminded me of the yeast that caused this drink to come into existence. It was almost as if I could smell the life that was transmuted into this beer, like I was looking at if I were a paleontologist.

The head was creamy but had an off-white twinge to it and disappeared minutes after pouring with no lacing. The taste as soon as it hit my tongue was perhaps one of the most complex I have ever experienced, you would catch a taste of something only to be replaced by another right when you could put your finger on what it might be. Then the alcohol comes in…and makes this beer taste sweet. It’s the damnest thing…with all the hard liquor I’ve consumed over the years, i’ve been taught that the higher the alcohol content, the more face-slappingly strong the drink will be. In this beer’s case it was completely the opposite.

After drinking the half of the 750 mL bottle in short succession (see pilsner glass size), I was ready to do some grilling and then the realization hit me and by hit me, I of course mean my liver. Wow, this worked so well that I was riding a pleasant buzz for the next couple of hours…though only after finishing the rest of the bottle.

All in all, I suggest to anyone who likes strong and dark beers to give Terrible a try, it’s completely worth the $9 I spent on it. I approve!

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