Roger Ebert Can Only Last 8 Minutes

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No, not in bed you pervert. Hell, at that age I doubt he could do that well. It seems that a movie Ebert has recently reviewed was so bad he could only watch the first 8 minutes of it without calling it quits. The movie in question? Tru Love, something about gay teens and gay parents and gay rights. Some pretty gay shit, in other words. Ebert confessed in his review that he only watched the first 8 minutes, but he did it at the end of the review, after he talked about parts which he admittedly looked up on IMDb. He also gave it an actual score, a 1 out of 4 stars, which he said “only applied to the first 8 minutes of the movie”. The problem is however, is that 1/4 still gets averaged into sites like Metacritic and Rotten Tomatoes.

I don’t blame old Rog’ for not being able to sit through a shitty movie, I honestly don’t. I think this just highlights the problem with review scores in today’s media. So many people just look at the number and say “Oh this is shit” or “Best movie evar”. I think Ebert should have been able to write a review about the movie even though he didnt see much of it, but I also think it should have been sans a score, but modern review technicalities force you to add one. If I am ever a professional reviewer, I am going to give fucking weird review scores to my respective media. “Yeah, this game is not too bad, not amazing either, so I give it a Q73 out of Venus” or “3 gizmos out of 9.5”, just to make people realize how silly the reviewing system has become.

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