Review: Storks Fails To Deliver
Director: Nicholas Stoller and Doug Sweetland
Summary: Storks have moved on from delivering babies to packages. But when an order for a baby appears, the best delivery stork must scramble to fix the error by delivering the baby.
The landscape of kids movies this year has been an odd one. There have been some truly instant classics, but the ones that really feel like they have been great are the ones that don’t insult their audience. Kubo and the Two Strings and Finding Dory are two great movies that accept that children are a lot smarter than we give them credit for and don’t assume that a child is only there to see bright colors. Storks did not look like a kids movie that was going to challenge anyone; in fact it looked about as generic as you can get and a perfect movie for mid September.
Storks isn’t offensively bad but the good moments are so few and far between that the rest of the movie becomes a long trudge to the finish line.
The basic idea behind Storks is that storks used to deliver babies and now they are like an amazon service that delivers items. There are a bunch of problems with that premise that leave huge plot holes. Could you get babies from the storks or through pregnancy? Did the population drop now that people have to have kids the old fashion way? I didn’t quite understand this world that they were building but these are flaws that the kids in the audience are not going to notice. However, I’m not sure the kids in the audience are going to really enjoy the entire production, either.
There is a subplot in the movie that has to do with a girl that is orphaned because the tracker that said who she was supposed to be delivered to was broken. The slower moments that deal with found family and the concept of not knowing who your parents are is odd and the juxtaposition of the movie trying to have moving moments don’t gel. The kids aren’t going to care when they can see more wacky hijinks as Junior (Andy Samberg) and Tulip (Katie Crown) try to deliver a baby they accidentally create. It seems like the boss doesn’t want them to do this but it never really explains why.
This all means that we are yet again stuck with a kids movie that won’t appeal to the rest of the family. That means that while the kids in the family will probably enjoy it the parents or older audience members are going to be bored for large portions of the film. The moments where it really came alive for me was about a wolf pack but those are the only jokes that really worked in the end. The finale got a few bonus points in my book because it deals with lots of babies being delivered at once and the movie doesn’t just show straight white couples but single parents, multi ethnic parents and even a few gay and lesbian couples.
Storks is one of the worst types of movies to review because it is just mediocre. It’s a film that I saw days ago and I’ve already forgotten about it. It’s not one that anyone is going to remember by the end of the year with so many other kids movies that are so much better. Unless you absolutely need to take your kids to a movie it’s probably best to skip it.