Kaitlyn Booth

Review: Get Hard Thinks Prison Rape Is Hilarious

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Title: Get Hard
Director: Etan Cohen
Screenwriter: Jay Martel (screenplay and story), Ian Roberts (screenplay and story), Etan Cohen (screenplay), and Adam McKay (story)
Principal Cast: Will Ferrell, Kevin Hart, Craig T. Nelson, Alison Brie, Edwina Findley Dickerson, Ariana Neal, and T.I.
Summary: When millionaire James King is nailed for fraud and bound for San Quentin, he turns to Darnell Lewis to prep him to go behind bars. — via imdb

I usually start out my reviews by saying something about what I knew about the movie in question, or an anecdote concerning the movie or subject matter, but I’m not doing that today. I’ve given myself two days to calm down after seeing Get Hard and I’m somehow still angry about this. I was thinking of doing some sort of joke review a la Fifty Shades of Grey but I can’t even muster the brain power to do that. There is only one thing you need to know about Get Hard and it’s this:

Get Hard is one long joke about sexual assault in prison.

Get Hard

Last year John Oliver did an absolutely fantastic segment on his HBO show Last Week Tonight about prison and I’m going to link it. You should watch it and during the segment he wonders why we constantly use sexual assault in prisons as a punchline. There is nothing funny about one of the worst things in the world that can not only happen to a prisoner but another human being. There is no universe where this is funny. There is nothing funny about that and all Get Hard is one long joke at that. That is not funny, rape is not funny, period. As Oliver said it’s easy not to care about prisoners but they are still human beings, and a lot of them are there for minor offenses thanks to minimum sentencing laws and the war on drugs.

I don’t know how this movie ever got made. Who at Warner Bros read this pitch and said “yes, people getting raped in prison, that’s the perfect idea for a comedy”. I didn’t laugh during this one, not once, and I checked my watch three times to see when this torture was going to end. This wasn’t the type of terrible where I couldn’t look away; were it not for professional obligations I would have walked out of the theater less than an hour in.

Not only does this movie make light of something absolutely terrible but it’s also racist, homophobic and it goes out of its way to try and poke fun at everyone but just comes across as mean spirited. It goes on for way too long and seems to think that it can get laughs by showing Will Ferrell naked. This cast should be embarrassed and ashamed to be part of this movie. These screenwriters should take a long, hard look at their lives and what their definition of “comedy” is. I hate everything about this movie; I hate the actors for thinking this was a good idea. I hate the director for making the movie boring to watch on top of offensive. I hate the writers for thinking this topic was funny in the first place. I hate Warner Bros for financing this piece of garbage. I hate every single human being in the theater who laughed.

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