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Machete Kills: Is It Worth Your Money?

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“Machete kills, that’s what he does!”


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Directed By:

Robert Rodriguez

 

Screenplay By:

Kyle Ward

 

Story By:

Robert Rodriguez & Marcel Rodriguez

 

Starring:

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, , and 

 


Robert Rodriguez sure has a knack for convincing big name stars to do embarrassing things on film. The acting in Machete kills was horrible despite the amazing abilities of (most of) the sixteen stars listed above. That’s really to be expected from a “grindhouse” film, but surprising none the less. Looking around the Internet I see a lot of poor reviews of this movie, and I agree with some of them.

People who want to tear apart this movie for being a “bad movie” are ignorant. However, “machete Kills” should have never been made. That’s not to say it shouldn’t be seen. I realize this all sounds confusing so I’m going to break it down for you.

Machete (2010) was a novel idea. Making a movie based off a fake movie trailer, based off an inside joke, worked out well for Rodriguez. The movie did well financially, rated well among critics, and was a genuinely fun movie! When I originally reviewed I gave it a review of a 8 out of 10 with the condition, “time will tell if this rating is deserved.” Truth was, it wasn’t. Going into Machete Kills I had realized I had forgotten nearly every bit of the “plot” of “Machete.” It was a throw away movie, that was insanely fun at the time. It was like a one-night-stand with a very attractive woman, who’s dumb as a brick. Sure you’ll tell your friends about her (at first), but not your family, and later you wont talk about it at all.

“Machete Kills” should have been shelved for another one of the Grindhouse fake trailers. With the novelty of the “Machete” character worn off, Rodriguez could have produced Rob Zombies “Werewolf Women of the S.S.,” or Eli Roth’s “Thanksgiving.” Hell I’m sure they could have even made a full movie out of the funniest, but by far least intriguing of the Grindhouse trailers Edgar Wright’s “Don’t!”

So what makes this film at least worth a watch on a boring friday night? While it’s not as fun as the original, and it takes awhile before it becomes entertaining. It does in-fact become entertaining at some point. Not to mention it does have quite a few laugh-out-loud moments. I must commend Amber Heard for another impressive performance; she is quite a talented actor unlike Lady Gaga who doesn’t belong in the theater at all.

OVERALL RATING 6 OUT OF 10

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