The Legend of Hercules is entertaining, for all the wrong reasons.
The Legend of Hercules is an abysmal waste of money, time, and brain cells.That opening may seem a little harsh, but if you trust me that is all you need to know. If you don’t trust me I will try to explain. This film is of the quality one would expect from a direct to video release. The lack of quality can be seen in every element of this film. The directing was virtually non-existent. The acting was practically a satire of bad acting. The visual effects were the equivalent of an off the shelf do-it-yourself job. If I didn’t know better I would have called this a pretty good high school student film.
The Legend of Hercules is a re-telling of a classic Greek myth. Hercules (Kellan Lutz), son of Zeus, is gifted by Hera to Queen Alcmene (Roxanne McKee) to bring and end to her husband, King Amphitryon’s (Scott Adkins) tyrannical rule. Fast forward 20 years, and Hercules takes a back seat to his brother Iphicles (Liam Garrigan), and is in love with his intended bride Hebe (Gaia Weiss). As punishment for attempting to steal his brother’s bride the king sends Hercules to Egypt to suppress a rising rebellion. Hercules is captures, sold into slavery, and forced to fight his way home.
This story can’t decided what it wants to be. It is one part Gladiator, one part Spartacus, two parts Troy, and a dash of Hercules. I’m not entirely convinced they knew what story they were trying to tell, so they just threw a fist full of ideas at the screen and what stuck is what we saw. The only redeeming quality of this film was Liam McIntyre who played Sotiris, the over-confident captain that rode a battalion of men into an obvious ambush. Only to be captured with Hercules and sold into slavery. If I didn’t know any better he was cast only to lend legitimacy to the gladiatorial combat scenes. He almost looked like Spartacus.
The Legend of Hercules gets one lonely little star out of ten, and that one little star is really just out of pity.
It was a cold December morning in Salt Lake City when I was born, it was a Tuesday. You could tell it was Tuesday because the bathrooms smelled like despair, hopeless lost dreams, and Tuna. I began to grow at an alarmingly normal rate and after 30 years I achieved definite adult-like shape and realized that I had squandered my talent-like abilities. One day I will do something about that squandering, after I finish watching Doctor Who, and if my offspring leave me alone for five minutes.