Alan Smithee

Haven’t The Russians Ever Heard of Ramen?

Decrease Font Size Increase Font Size Text Size Print This Page

I think this story should go into a new version of "Eat this...not this!"

I was reading a news story earlier today about two guys in St. Petersburg who have just been charged with murdering and eating a sixteen year old girl…Haven’t these assholes ever heard of Cup-o-Noodle?

What’s even more deplorable about this crime, is that the two guys got only about 19 years in a maximum security prison. That’s only a few years more than the lady they ate had alive on Earth!

According to the story, the two guys lured and drowned the kid in a bathtub and proceeded to cook various parts of her body in their oven…all because they were “hungry”.

These guys even had the audacity to plead not guilty to the crimes. I hope that Russian prisons are just as brutal to guys who harm kids as they are here in the US. I’d quote something from Cannibal the Musical, but even that’s not appropriate right now. Spadoinkle!

Leave us a Comment