danielknighten

GWAR Eternal Tour 2014

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The greatest metal band in the universe, GWAR is on their Eternal Tour and in search of Oderus. I recently caught both the Seattle (Nov. 12th) and Spokane (Nov. 15th) tour dates. Even with the absence of Dave Brockie, who recently died of an overdose at the beginning of this year, I can proudly say their live show performance hasn’t faltered. This summer I saw GWAR in Richmond, Virginia for the 5th annual GWAR-BQ (read my posts here, here, and here). Fans from across the world came together and paid tribute to Oderus Urungus’s (Dave’s stage character) and saw him off with a Viking Funeral.

In the beginning of the show, a recording of Oderus’s voice was piped in as he sang the first song “Fly Now” straight from Valhalla. A security guards head was decapitated and the blood flow commenced. The audience was splattered with gore by two little gargoyles that showered the crowd from both ends of the stage.

Blöthar (Mike Bishop, formally Beefcake the Mighty) took the stage and sang hits like “Madness at the Core of Time”, “The Years without Light” and “Hail, Genocide!” He explained he helped write most of the band’s songs over the years and decided that it was time he joined his fellow Scumdogs. Mostly, he wanted to share the fame and credit and, as he put it, the the “fat chicks” that come with it. He also alluded to being the current Beefcake the Mighty’s (Jamison Land) father. Granted he then denied everything in order to not be tied down by a kid.

The show was then interrupted by their nemesis Sawborg Destructo, who came out to sing and take over the band. However, a portal opened up and Vulvatron came out and made quick work of Sawborg. Vulvatron comes from the year 6900 and is here to keep GWAR from their pending doom. She said the portal she traveled through may even be able to bring back Oderus. Beefcake interjected, that before they could rescue Oderus he would need to use the portal to order a pizza! At that moment, a scantly clad alien showed up dressed as a pizza delivery person. Vulvatron and the fellow band members had their way with the alien and ended up playing tether ball with its brain to the tune of “Black and Huge.”

Oderus did finally “cum” through the portal when he unfortunately mistook it for a glory hole. His famed Cuttlefish of Cthulhu appeared and gave the audience a golden shower. At one point, Bonesnapper (who is not a turtle) expressed his sorrow for his lost leader. Despite protests from the band, he filled the void of Dave’s missing vocals by singing “I, Bonesnapper.” While Bonesnapper tried his best to pay tribute to Oderus, the band made it clear that “his best” really sucked.

They continued to search for Oderus, at “Metal Metal Land,” but alas, he was no where to be found. Things got worse as the giant Mr. Perfect came through the portal with news that he defeated Oderus and stole his mortality. This incited a riot both on stage at in the pit among the metal-fueled crowd. Bonesnapper, Vulvatron and Blöthar battled Mr. Perfect, cutting apart his limbs and his head. Oderus’s voice sang out again as GWAR delivered the finishing blow with Oderus’s own long sword.

The lights dimmed and times were dark, but then GWAR returned for an encore. All the blood covered bohabs were brought to tears as GWAR played “The Road Behind” in tribute to their fallen bandmate. The show ended with not only one cover song but two. First,“West End Girls” (Pet Shop Boys) and then “People Who Died”(The Jim Carroll Band). GWAR tweaked out the latter to make it about Dave/Oderus.

Overall, GWAR seems to be continuing on the path that Dave set. I don’t think the band will stop torturing and pleasing our twisted minds any time soon. Hail Oderus! Hail GWAR!

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