Geek Squad wants to solve the mystery of burning CDs for you

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I think we can all agree that Geek Squad is a farce aimed towards old people and the ignorant, providing services that no self-respecting human being would consider giving their money to. But this new shit just borderlines on offensive/ridiculous. Apparently, Geek Squad doesn’t think you are capable enough to burn your own CDs onto your own computer. But don’t worry! For only $1 a CD they will burn your music for you. Now, that claim could be the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, and this would still be an absurd offer. But let’s look deeper into the program.

First off, Geek Squad claims that the $1 a CD charge includes “free shipping”. Last time I checked, free meant free, but apparently to Geek Squad free means a $35 “shipping kit” if you are ripping less than 100 CDs. Now that we’ve found out about that hidden fee, let’s look at how Geek Squad is going to get your music to you.

The only free option is to have them burn your CDs onto their computer, and then them burn the MP3s onto a DVD and them send the DVD to you. So…what the fuck are you supposed to do with the DVD? You’re going to have to figure out how to burn the MP3s from the DVD to your computer so….what’s the fucking point? Alternatively you can send them your external hard drive and they can burn your CDs to that for a small fee of $25. Or the option they really want you to pick, buy an external hard drive or iPod from them! Then they’ll load your shit up on those for absolutely no extra charge. What swell guys.

Well, at least there is the convenience thing. Claiming to be “an amazing time saver” on the front menu, Geek Squad provides you with a calculator to see just how much time you save using their service. I decided to see just how efficient it was, and when prompted I said, just for experiment’s sake, that I was going to burn 50 CDs with Geek Squad. To my disbelief, I was told that if done manually, it could take me “over 8 hours” to burn my fictional collection of 50 CDs, whereas it would only take Geek Squad “just a few days”. Gee willikers! I could save at the minimum negative 40 hours using this amazing service!


So there you have it. Geek Squad has found a new way to prey upon the unwashed masses, I go away feeling a little dead inside, and baby Jesus hates mankind even more. Who’s not coming away a winner in this love equation of technology?

[via The Consumerist]

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