Geek Dad Report: Repetition, Repetition, Repetition
Even after numerous times of telling my kids as they cry and pout in the backseat that “Hey Duckbills” is a freaking CHRISTMAS SONG ABOUT DINOSAURS. Christmas was 2 months ago. It’s not a time for singing about Duckbill Dinosaurs and their odd shaped craniums. Yes, it’s cute to listen to them sing to it. Come on, how the hell can they put up with such repetitive behaviors?
Then there is the Napalm of all repetitive child behaviors, the TV. The greatest babysitter you’ll ever know when you just want 10 minutes of silence in the house. Which is much preferred to listening to crying as my kids hurt each other or do some of the other weird shit to get each other in trouble. Really, who practically LAYS DOWN in another kids direct path and then have the audacity to say they ran into you on purpose? My favorite excuse that my 4 year old Son normally employs is that his sister “Hit her Head on the wall.” In the middle of the room. 10-15 feet from any wall. Regardless, the TV is your fiend and your enemy. Crom save you if your kids end up having their head explode in excitement every time their favorite pile of kiddy crap show comes on. I swear that if I have to watch/hear another Bob the Builder or Max and Ruby I’m going to just go into a fetal position and cry it out while they sit on the couch.
I have numerous shows ingrained into my memory, I know all the characters, their nuances, their hopes and desires. We’ve seen so many Dora the Explorer and Curious George that I can nearly recite every plot summary. So when all of a sudden, after watching a million episodes of some show, they decide that they’ve had enough. I don’t give a shit if you don’t want to watch Dora anymore, I’VE INVESTED TOO MUCH OF MY MENTAL CAPACITY IN YOUR SHOW. I can’t give up on her. I sing the backpack and map song at random. When I finish a task at work. I’ll dance and sing “I did it, I did it”. Ok, maybe not that far.
I’ve tried killing the receptiveness of my children numerous times. I’ve deleted their favorite shows/movies off the DVR and claimed “Oh No! The DVR is brooooke, let’s watch Star Trek: TNG instead.” never seems to pan out as planned. In the end, I find myself going to the DisneyXD channel or NickJR and finding more episodes of we’re going to ask you a question and pause for you to sit on the couch and not respond but then pretend that you responded anyways show. All of my attempts at getting them to watch well…MY shows has failed, well, my sensible shows that kids can watch.
If someone has any advice, I’d love to hear it, until then I’ll be the dad sitting in the corner mumbling to himself in the tv show taught Spanish about some asshole fox stealing my favorite things.