Ryan Thomason

Geek Dad Report: Kids Are Useless (slave workers in the fall)

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Remember when you used to have lots of kids because you needed them to work the farm, or that sweatshop down the street at the age of 5? Neither do I. Thankfully, maybe.


It’s not to say that my kids are lazy, well, they are, at 4 and almost 2, they make a mess doing anything. When I tell them to clean up, I might as well be asking them to solve string theory. So, when I look outside and see the giant carpet of leaves that is my yard, I know I’m looking at 5-6 hours of labor. If my wife decides to take advantage of me being home and outside, I might as well not try raking at all.

What is it with kids and dried up leaves? You make a pile and the next second, I got two screaming kids diving into it telling me to bury them in leaves. Or, better yet and thanks to the animal loving show on PBS (Wild Kratts) I got two Aardvarks that are digging boroughs and sending my pile everywhere. I guess it could be worse, I could have my son crying at me asking me to make the leaves green again and on the trees. Like he did the other week, for a solid 10 minutes.

Oh, how I wish I could do that.

What am I kidding, I love it. Fall/Winter is my favorite time of the year, Football is in full throttle, you bundle up in clothes and it’s not hot as hell outside. There is nothing that will make you smile more than hearing your kids squeeling as they run through a massive pile of leaves scattering them into the wind. Just don’t expect them to help you bag them those leaves up in the end. Somehow, Mom always has Hot Chocolate ready for them when it comes to bagging leaves time.

Here is my advice for how to manage raking up all of those leaves that your trees have thrown up all over your yard, and you have little kids.

Hope for a giant windstorm to blow them into your neighbors yard.

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