Games that should be in the Special Olympic

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winrar
Look ma, I’m a winrar!

After reading Ex’s post about the whole uproar over Obama’s bad bowling joke, me and him got to talking about what sports are in the special olympics. Then we started naming sports that would make the Special Olympics so much more fun to watch. Oh yes, hilarity ensued. So we decided our sports would test a participant’s ability to live normally, none of this stupid pretending they are real athletes. That titles goes to the black people, duh. So here’s some of our favorites.

20m Pencil Run
A 20 meter dash with retards holding sharpened pencils. The object of this game is to cross the finish line first with both eyes still intact as well as your pencil. If you fall and stab yourself or break your pencil, you are disqualified.

pencil-winner

Making Dinner
This one is really simple. Each athlete(snicker, snicker) is given 30 minutes to prepare dinner for themselves. They are allowed to use any kitchen accessories they want, including blenders, knives, stoves, and ovens. Each athlete(snicker,snicker) must choose from one of three dinners to make, spaghetti, grilled cheese sandwich, or cereal. Each athlete(snicker,snicker) will be judged on the amount of time it took, the presentation and tastiness of the dish as well as how uninjured they are by the end.

sammich!
It’s a SAMMICH!!

Fetch
In this incredibly tough event, the athletes(snicker,snicker) will be challenged not only physically, but mentally as well. Each competitor(LOL) has a ‘coach’ or ‘handler’ that will tell them to go get specific items from a room. They will be judged on the time it takes as well as how many correct objects they bring back.

doin-it-wrong
You are doing it wrong!!

Freestyle First Base Dash
No, this is not a literal dash to a first base on a baseball diamond. This is a test to see which retar..I mean athlete(snicker, snicker) has the most charisma as well as girl sense. Each competitor is given ten minutes to get to first base with another female retar..I mean athlete. Simple as that but oh so much funnier than normal people doing it.

boob
Boobies!!

10 meter x 10 meter Lawn Mowing
Give each person a push mower, a 300 foot square piece of grass and see who mows it the fastest. Or who loses a limb. Either way, the crowd is entertained.

victoly
VICTOLY!!

So what do you guys think? Got any other suggestions for great Special Olympic events?

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