Ryan Thomason

From The Comic Hold: Star Trek TNG: The Hive #3

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What’s worse than really crappy Star Trek fan fiction? Maybe the artwork in this comic.

Star-Trek-3

Star Trek The Next Generation: The Hive #3
Writer: Brannon Braga, Terry Matalas
Artist: Joe Corroney
Publisher: IDW Publishing
Price: $3.99
Release Date: December 19th, 2012

Spoilers Ahoy!

Ok, maybe that’s being too much of an ass, since I have the artistic talents of a 5 year old, that can only draw stick figures. Seriously though, aside from the story that doesn’t seem to make sense, and yes, I know that not all Star Trek makes sense, but come on. This has been a comic I can’t wait to read because I email a review copy to contributor Evan Burkey and we just trash on it to get our jollies off. What’s been happening? If you’ve been paying attention to our Other Reviews of this run, The Borg are back, an alien race is crushing them, they need help or the universe is doomed. Cut to a future 500 years later, and The Borg rule everything and there is no fun to be had because everything is too perfect well, that’s why I think Locutus is all uppity about destroying everything. Data gets rebuilt in the future, chokes out seven of nine in a panel that looked like he was performing some kind of sexual asphyxiation or something on her and whatever, the story is stupid.

By the end of this issue, what’s going to happen in the final issue of this run is so painfully obvious because we’ve seen it in, oh, every single episode of Star Trek. Then I can stop reading this trash of a Star Trek comic and move on to other trash Star Trek comics, because I love to torture myself like that. Seriously, Riker looks terrible, and as Evan pointed out, the man should be a Bronze God, always. ALWAYS. His beard looks like a cross between glued on pubes and spray paint. Did I mention the art is something I don’t like about the comic? Or that the story is so predictable, but so Star Trek?

Yes, I’m still going to read the last issue, because my love for Trek is that strong. I’m going to hate it, and I’m going to make fun of it. It’s just something that I have to do, this comic provides that “You have to read it because you love something so much. You know this is terrible so you love that other thing more.”

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