Ryan Thomason

Eric and Goosh: Prometheus is Not Alien(s)

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Eric entered into the living room with arms spread wide, his green lantern t-shirt rising high enough to show off his navel, he held two tickets in his hands.

“I have procured the items that we so greatly desire…..” He stopped and looked around, finding the living room empty. “Goosh?”

The bathroom door burst open, taking Eric by surprise. He jumped back slightly as the door swung open, a smug looking Goosh dramatically walked out, a deep grin on his face. His shirt looked a little particular, as if it was slightly puffed up in the chest.

“Tell me you’re not wearing what I think you’re wearing, dumbass.”

“OF COURSE I AM.” Goosh gestured to his chest “This is ALIENS.”

Eric shook his head. “This is not Aliens, hell, I doubt we’ll see the Xenomorphs that we all know and love.”

“Xenowhata?”

“Xenomorphs, you ignorant curr!” Eric raised a fist at Goosh, shaking it wildly as his eyes began to shine with a furor. “Or for you, the simpleton, the ALIENS in the ALIEN MOVIE FRANCHISE.”

“Why didn’t you just say that, and how can this be an Aliens movie without the Aliens?”

“IT’S NOT AN ALIENS MOVIE!” Eric screamed, he was beginning to get onto his wits ends on how to approach this situation.

“No….chestburstings?”

“No chestingburstings my infantile friend.” Eric moved closer, and put a hand on Goosh’s shoulder, in doing so he triggered a mechanism in Goosh’s shirt, which started to pound in a quick beat, when an Alien chestburster emerged he could only look at the sad face of Goosh. Goosh’s lower lip trembled slightly as his eyes began to moisten, all while the chestburster silently flailed mechanically from his shirt.

“Change your shirt.” was all Eric could muster.

Artwork by Paul Mason

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