Courting geek taste buds

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It is common knowledge that geeks, nerds, dweebs and gamers love Mountain Dew. Over the past couple of years Mt. Dew has stepped up their game and started making flavors based on the suggestions of their consumers. Last year they released three temporary flavors and asked their drinkers to vote on which one should be carried as a permanent flavor and Voltage won.

This year they have released three more flavors: Distortion, White Out and Typhoon. Mt. Dew wants you all to vote on which flavor should be their next permanent line.

Which corn syrupy concoction would you choose?

Being a grocery store employee allows me the opportunity to try many new foods and drinks before most people. I took advantage of this to sample all three of these flavors. Now the most noticeable one is White Out. I wasn’t even looking at the soda fridge when I saw a white bottle out of the corner of my eye. The descriptor says “smooth citrus dew”, sounds good right? Basically it tastes like regular Dew, minus the Yellow #5. Boring.

Distortion was on my plate the next day. Hard to spot on the shelf, especially next to the regular Dew.”Lime blasted” the bottle claims, I like lime, how could it lose? I actually enjoyed this flavor quite a bit. It was bit on the sweet side, kind of like a lime Popsicle or lime Jell-o, but the lime added a nice twist to the regular citrus Dew flavor. This would be my choice if I voted in the Dewmocracy

I saved Typhoon for last because the color slightly worried me. It’s not orange, not pink, not red. It’s an orangey, pinkish, reddish color that just doesn’t seem right. As the vague descriptor of  “tropical” is never comforting. what is tropical? Is it pineapple or banana or passion fruit or mango? Maybe it’s all of those rolled into one. The flavor was hard to distinguish. I think mango and passion fruit were most identifiable, but the concoction was so damned sweet I couldn’t be sure. It tasted kind of like tropical punch flavored Kool-Aid, but with carbonation.

Overall the new flavors were unimpressive. I did like Distortion the best, but they were all a little too sweet for my adult tastes. I generally don’t drink soda so this was a rare event, but I just can’t resist trying new things. I predict that White Out will be the permanent flavor, just by virtue of the fact that it looks most unique and still tastes like regular Dew. Try them yourself and vote, or don’t.

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