Chaotic: Shadow Warriors review

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First, there was Magic the Gathering and Yu-Gi-Oh! video games.  Now we have the chance to play Chaotic as a video game (cue scary music).  After experiencing countless card games and watching a few episodes of the Chaotic cartoon, I was excited.  The possibilities of powerful armies.  Harnessing harmful and helpful musical magic known as mugic.  Arming my creatures with battlegear from a wide array of an arsenal.  Then, came time to play the game.  My hopes were high.  After my time with the game was over, my hopes and dreams for the game were dashed to pieces, stomped into sand, and incinerated into ash.

You take on the role of Tom Majors aka Major Tom, as he embarks upon a glorious adventure…or so we all would hope.  In reality, you are tossed into a game that is part Super Mario Bros., part Tomb Raider, and part Final Fantasy.  Each part by itself is a wonderful aspect, but each combined makes for a horrible concept.  Most of your time will be spent running around Perim as Tom.  A Codemaster has given you the task of testing out a new super scanner.  This all translates into you having no deck to call your own and you have to build it back up.  For those of out there that are not aware of scanning in Chaotic, you will rebuild your deck by using your scanner while wandering around and in battle.  Though none will remember Chaotic players scanning a strange blue symbol which turned into battlegear.  But, the second means of scanning is where the game becomes a giant pain and is surrounded by the one and only decent part of the game.

We are going to skip the multiplayer section of combat, since that is complete junk and an utter disappointment.  Story mode has a long series of scripted battles that feel very tedious after you have amassed your ultimate group.  You will be able to choose which five creatures will make up your army before you enter your first battle.  This is possible thanks to your new scanner and checking out the Portal to Perim section.  Curious as to what creatures, mugic, and battlegear are made available in the game and details on all of them?  All is revealed in the Portal to Perim, so no mysteries await you.

The one mystery that does remain is one simple question.  Why was such a horrible game allowed to escape into the market?  The graphics are obviously made for the Wii but were imported for the 360 and PS3.  Shadows seem to creep along floors and walls like a drunken spider.  The audio is an affront to your ears.  After a certain point early on in the game, Tom repeats one of two lines at every pause and break.  Creatures will do the same concerning their attacks and taunt.  This game would be ideal for children, if it wouldn’t be so apparent that parents shouldn’t allow their kids to play such a travesty of a video game.  If you are a fan of Chaotic and are in desperate need of a Chaotic video game, then you are in luck.  If you want a good game based on Chaotic, then tune into my review of Chaotic: Shadow Warriors on the Nintendo DS.  That game may have a fighting chance and won’t crumble as fast as Bodal would against Heptadd’s Minor Roar.

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