Broken Rant: Letting the air out of a bad situation

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Your attention, please. The story you are about to see is true. The names have been changed to protect the innocent. For example: George Baker is now called “Sylvia Wiss. ”

Most of you know by now that I am normally not a ‘violent’ person per-se, but I do have my issues and often find my self in ‘interesting’ situations’.

Hit the jump to read about my latest adventures.

It’s Friday, October 7th, 2008 and I am late for work. I walk into the office with my arms full with snacks (the reason why I was late) and happen to pass by a co-worker’s office. My co-worker, Sylvia Wiss, happens to be having a somewhat private conversation with another co-worker, Miley Cyrus. Now normally I don’t eavesdrop on other peoples conversations, but they were talking pretty loud and I happen to have bat hearing so I managed to pick out a few choice phrases.  I apologize to anyone who happens to be sensitive but in interest to fairness, I want to be accurate.

“F-word coon president. Wish someone would F-word-ing shoot the bastard and save us the trouble.’
‘Whole world is going to shit now that we have a coon for president.’
‘Guess its time we dust off our coon rifles and go coon hunting in D.C’
‘Have ourselves a good ol’ fashion hanging’

Now, before I get any further, let me explain a little about myself. I voted for Barack Obama, I admit it. I am a young early 20’s white guy who voted for a black man. I did it because McCain is am idiot and I saw Manchurian Candidate more then I should. I spent most of my formative years, roughly age 9 to 15, living in New Jersey in a largely black community and went to a mostly black high school. My best friend growing up was named Lamont and he was black. His mom was the best damn cook ever. She made the best corn bread on weekends (before anyone says something about stereotypes, cornbread is really easy to make on low budgets which many African Americans live on.) Anyway, to put it mildly, I don’t take too kindly to racism.

Can you see where this is going? I could. I stepped right into that office and called them idiots and racist bigots and explained how Obama was the best choice for president.  They called me a Coon lover.  Honestly, I was so flabbergasted I walked out. Walked back to my office and put my stuff down.  Walked back out to the parking lot, making sure I did not pass their office again, and promptly let the air out of their tires.
Walked back to my office and I’ve been sitting here waiting for them to notice. which should be any moment.
Good times.

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