Alan Smithee

The Travel Agent — Bartertown

The Travel Agent — Bartertown

So you say that there’s no good places left in the world after the apocalypse? Well good sir/madam, you’d be completely wrong. You just haven’t been looking hard enough! If you really want to see the sites while travelling, your next stop should be the one shining, if not glowing bastion in this whole dystopian […]

 Alan Smithee

Strange Brews: The Caribou Lou

Strange Brews: The Caribou Lou

No, not the villain from The Inspector cartoons from the 60s but the delicious libation made famous by Tech N9ne on his album Everready. He describes in detail how to make this great drink that sneaks up on you thanks to the 151 rum contained within. The recipe is very, very simple. No I didn’t […]

 Alan Smithee

Tales of Fatherhood — My God, The Drool!

Now that my adorable little poo factory has reached her 3rd month of life, nature has bestowed upon her one of the cruelest developments in human evolution…teething. Along with the increased fussyness and general moodyness that is a human that can’t properly express themselves, she also has an increase in drool that rivals the amount […]

 Alan Smithee

Prehistoric Beer?!? GIMME!

Prehistoric Beer?!? GIMME!

I’d like to think that some caveman, at some point in our evolution was able to discover fermentation. It may not be documented, but I always hold hope that we see a cave painting with human figures with bubbles coming off their head. Well a brewery from California promises even more, a beer made from […]

 Alan Smithee

WTF Ziff Davis?

WTF Ziff Davis?

It came as no surprise to me that EGM has been shitcanned. In my opinion, we knew that print media was on the way out for a long time. Though for some reason, the entire blogging scene (I refuse to use blogosphere) is reeling from the announcement. I don’t quite understand everyone’s ZOMG reaction; I […]

 Alan Smithee

I Has a Wii…

I Has a Wii…

Last night, when I went to visit my parents house for a quick visit, I was given my Xmas present a week late, a Nintendo Wii. This was the last of this generation’s trifecta of gaming systems that I needed to get in order to feel like a complete gamer. Unfortunately for me, it was […]

 Alan Smithee

The Greatest Game You’ll Never Play

The Greatest Game You’ll Never Play

The LA Times, being one with the gaming community (and needing to publish a “Best Of…” list of some sort) just popped out this fucking thing. In the article, they decide to do the Lord’s Work™ and try to theorize the best video game in the world using their favorite things from games from recent[ish] times. […]

 Alan Smithee

30GB Zunes Shit Themselves All at Once

30GB Zunes Shit Themselves All at Once

The people over at Game Politics are reporting on this hilarious story. It appears that every 30GB Zune on the planet decided to start acting up around midnight last night, stuttering, stammering and crashing for the next two hours until finally rebooting and error-coding its user into a standstill. Although I can’t speak for the […]

 Alan Smithee

The Travel Agent – Golden Saucer

The Travel Agent – Golden Saucer

Are you getting tired of all the rampant terrorism and giant serpents that are busily running about the Eastern continent? Are you fed up with life in the largely militaristic town of Junon? Or maybe you just can’t take another minute studying the life of the planet with all of the other tree-hugging inhabitants of […]

 Alan Smithee

Role Models

Role Models

Many of us men growing up didn’t have the quintessential male role-models that our parents had growing up. I know my old man grew up in a time where men were of the type that you see personified in every World War II story. Back when men came home from work to have their wives […]

 Alan Smithee

The Day Before Xmas (or Happy Un-Festivus)

This is always the worst day of the year for me. Even as a child, I hated December 24th with a passion that would rival pirate vs. ninja. There’s no logical explanation for it, I just hate the fact that by this time of the month, there have been things sitting under the Xmas tree […]

 Alan Smithee

Netflix Thinks I’m Gay

Netflix Thinks I’m Gay

Ok, it’s not the first time in my life that I’ve heard rumors about me being a butt-pirate, but when a piece of web-based software (that’s only supposed to help me decide what movies would be a good fit for me) supposes that I am not heterosexual, I start to question it myself. I think […]

 Alan Smithee

Weeaboo Wednesday: Azumanga Daioh

Weeaboo Wednesday: Azumanga Daioh

In the age of the internet, there is no short supply of pejorative terms for fans of certain types of media. If you’re into video games you might be called a fanboy if there is any perceived preference that you might have. The same goes for fans of Japanese culture. Whether it be the TV […]

 Alan Smithee

Men Can Read Lists, Not Minds

Men Can Read Lists, Not Minds

I’m a married man, a very happily married man. I have to hammer this in here, I love my wife and wouldn’t wish a life any different than the one I have right now (except for my additional +100 lbs of fat and Middle Class job). If there is one thing that drives me up […]

 Alan Smithee

Castle Crashers Screwed Me

Castle Crashers Screwed Me

I loved this game. I really really loved this game. You’ll notice that I’ve put that in the past tense. There was absolutely nothing wrong with this game for me, it still is probably the best side-scrolling beat ’em up game ever. Tom Fulp and Dan Paladin made a great game, but I have to […]