Alan Smithee

Nintentards Get Ready!

Nintentards Get Ready!

Hey you corporate whores who have nothing better to do than throw money at a company who doesn’t deserve it, today your lords and masters over at Nintendo announced the release date of the brand-new-to-everyone-but-Japan DSi for the 5th of April (10th of April 2011 for the UK I’m guessing…). [rant]So what does that mean […]

 Alan Smithee

Games That Defined Me — Xenogears

Games That Defined Me — Xenogears

When I was 18, done with high-school, and enjoying the freedom that came from being a teen with a part time job and no real plans, I had my gaming to keep me busy. Every week it seemed, I would have a new game for my PlayStation that just NEEDED to be played. I recall […]

 Alan Smithee

Fallout 3, or as I see it: The Game of Morality

Fallout 3, or as I see it: The Game of Morality

This weekend, I had some free time and didn’t quite know what to do with it. Being the gaming whore that I am, I decided to go to my local GameStore to try and find something that I could waste a good chunk of my afternoon playing. After picking up and putting down about 20 […]

 Alan Smithee

ODST Spotted in the Wild

ODST Spotted in the Wild

Start salivating, you Halo-tards out there (myself included). I found this screen shot and started to get a chubby. Someone out there has this game and is playing it right now. The bastard! Halo 3: ODST doesn’t come out until this fall but I’m already dying to get my hands on this game. I just […]

 Alan Smithee

Machinarium Gives Me Wood

Oh man, watch the video above for Machinarium, by Amanita Design. It has a retro-Sierra look that makes me extremely nostalgic for the PC games that I used to play as a kid. It seems to be a point-and-click styled adventure where you guide a little robot across a giant steampunk themed metropolis and is […]

 Alan Smithee

Why Does Retro Mean So Damned Much To Gamers?

Why Does Retro Mean So Damned Much To Gamers?

Hi, Xopher here, I was thinking last night as I was walking on my treadmill about the shelves of games that I have stacked up in my basement just eagerly awaitng me to breathe life (literally with the NES games) into them once again. I wondered why I am more apt to play the games […]

 Alan Smithee

A Weird Kid’s Top 10 — All-Nighter NES Games

A Weird Kid’s Top 10 — All-Nighter NES Games

Back in the great days of my youth almost 19 years ago, when the NES was king and I was a portly little quiet kid. A kid who escaped everyday to the Mushroom Kingdom and Dracula’s Castle to avoid my boring existence as a grade school child. I had very few friends and a non-existent […]

 Alan Smithee

I Love Japan: Gackt – Mars

I Love Japan: Gackt – Mars

I’m venturing that a good portion of the people visiting this site (minus me, King, and Styos) don’t know who Kamui Gackt is. Let’s just say that the man is a huuuuuge star over in Japan and the subject of today’s I <3 Japan article, though more accurate to say his masterpiece album Mars.

 Alan Smithee

A Weird Kid’s Top 10 — Games That Deserved Sequels

A Weird Kid’s Top 10 — Games That Deserved Sequels

It’s rather unfortunate for us gamers, in that we aren’t as lucky as fans of books, music, or movies just for the fact that the majority of games released will never ever see a sequel. Even if there is fan support and we think that it would be a good idea and that they ‘deserve’ […]

 Alan Smithee

Quite Possibly One of the Gayest YouTubes Out There

The song is ‘Balkan Bears’ by Azis and was found by a complete freak accident. I in no way typed in ‘gay bear’ into YouTube. Let’s just say that it’s amazing the videos you come across when you get trapped in a YouTube hole.

 Alan Smithee

Mass Effect Movie? DO WANT!

Mass Effect Movie? DO WANT!

According to an article that I found on Gamespot in the UK. Avi Arad has optioned the rights to make a movie based on Mass Effect. This is some of the best news I’ve heard in a while because I was one of those wierdos that enjoyed this game completely. Sure, Avi has optioned a […]

 Alan Smithee

Hot Pussy Spanking on YouTube

On YouTube earlier today, I found some videos that made me almost cringe and laugh at the same time. I really couldn’t believe my eyes, but right there on YouTube (which is a high ground of morality) there were people, men and women alike spanking their pussies for minutes on end and seeming to enjoy […]

 Alan Smithee

Guess What? The World is Still Here!

Guess What? The World is Still Here!

So, President Obama has officially been sworn in, and nothing happened! There was no mass murdering of babies, there was no instant 80% tax increase, there was nothing out of the ordinary at all, just a new president…in front of a crowd of over 2,000,000 citizens. That’s a shitload of people. I do have something […]

 Alan Smithee

A Weird Kid’s Top 10 — MAN Movies

A Weird Kid’s Top 10 — MAN Movies

There are movies, and then there are MOVIES! Today I hope to share with you my shining examples of the MOVIES that make you glad that you have a dick. You know, the truly testosterone pumped films that blur the line between awesome and homo-erotic. We’ve all seen them hundreds of times but there is […]

 Alan Smithee

You’d Have Thought Everyone Knew Star Wars By Now

I’m just amazed by this video. To think that someone in our generation has such a tenuous grasp on the folklore that defines us. She’s close, but not nearly close enough.