Kyle J. Steenblik

Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip is Not Appropriate for Anyone

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alvin_posterAlvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip
Directed by: Walt Becker
Written by: Randi Mayem Singer, Adam Sztykiel
Based on Alvin and the Chipmunks by Ross Bagdasarian, The Chipettes by Janice Karman
Starring: Jason Lee, Tony Hale, Kimberly Williams-Paisley, Bella Thorne, Justin Long, Matthew Gray Gubler, Jesse McCartney, Kaley Cuoco, Anna Faris, Christina Applegate
Running time 86 minutes
Rated PG for some mild rude humor and language

 

1 1/2 stars out of 5Music manager Dave (Jason Lee) is not only enjoying a burgeoning career, but a blossoming romance with Samantha (Kimberly Williams-Paisley), a beautiful doctor who works in the emergency room. Through a series of misunderstandings, the chipmunks start to believe that a marriage proposal is on the horizon. Dreading the thought of an antagonistic stepbrother (Josh Green), Alvin (Justin Long), Theodore and Simon embark on a cross-country odyssey to prevent their best pal from ruining their lives. – courtesy 20th Century Fox


Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip is not the worst movie I have ever seen, it is not the worst children’s movie I have ever seen, but it is pretty close.  With very few redeemable qualities, and next to no moments that should entertain any reasonable adult, I was left counting the minutes until the end credits.  Between the musical decisions, the cultural references, and the lowest common denominator humor, I could not pinpoint the target demographic for this film, and I do not think the writers or director did either.  I actually do not think the writers and director cared about this film at all, and I cannot really blame them, if ever there was a movie that everyone involved was only in it for the paycheck, it is this one.  This review should serve as a warning to anyone that might be subjected to this film due to miniature human’s desire to see talking chipmunks, they are better off without this film.

I found 86 minutes without a single entertaining or engaging character.  A soundtrack that was not age appropriate for the audience, assuming the intended audience are under the age of 12.  Far be it from me to insist that some forms are music are not appropriate for children, but honestly, Sir-Mix-A-Lot is simply not what I would choose for a chipmunk to sing for children.  There is nothing of value for anyone in this film; even the minimal effort at the end was so half-hearted even my 7-year old son did not buy it.  He liked the film because someone was hit in groin with a chipmunk.  I forgive him his lack of cinematic sophistication because he is seven, but clearly, we have work ahead of us.

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